Bummer

I probably shouldn't write a blog when I feel this way, but unfortunately for everyone this is my therapy.  A way to clear my mind and maybe even get some sleep tonight. Zoey is having something going on. Spasms or seizures? We will find out hopefully tomorrow or Wednesday. Another EEG on the way for my baby girl. I knew it was a possibility, but I didn't think it would only be 3 1/2 months of being spasm free. For a little while I have seen things that made me wonder if she was having them or not, but last night was a flashback to those dark days. She woke up from sleeping and back to back to back 10-15 little body shudders and eyes unfocused. My stomach has dropped and I feel detached. She has accomplished so much these last few months! She has pretty much caught up to her age. All except the crawling which is coming soon! Now the uncertainty sets back into place. I don't want to do this again. I don't want to watch her suffer while I just have to sit and watch. I just want to either cry hysterically into my pillow or else punch a hole in the wall and I'm not sure which would make me feel better. So instead I'm asking for prayers and happy thoughts to be sent zoeys way. Long days ahead with tests and decisions.